Real
by Kathleengranger
Summary: In the last two years a lot of things happened. I lost my sister. I lost my best friend. My mother is miles away from me. But I survive, not only that, I thrive. It was not something I saw coming when I first got home, but it's happening anyway. I grow. Damaged, but still growing.


It's been exactly a year since I moved in. I cannot handle my own house, sometimes I still expect to see her in our study, doing her homework. Or in the kitchen, helping our mother. When he asked me if one of us should move, I agreed to be the one who gets out. Besides, it's closer to Haymitch. During the first week, I spent the day exploring the house. I found a lot of paintings on his study, about a dozen egg, and another baking supplies. He cannot cook, which is weird because I expect him to cook well. He's a baker, shouldn't it be natural for him to cook? Not the case though. To his justice I'm not much of a cook myself. I can survive, which is totally different with sustaining a household with a good cooking. So I learned. Greasy Sae stopped feeding us once I moved in, and I don't think it's fair for him to eat stew all the time. I mastered Sae's cooking skill in less than a week, learning during the day and practice what I learned on the evening. Although I know my cooking is no match to the Capitol dishes, I remembered his face when he came home to festive dishes I worked on during the day. It was priceless.

Sometimes I go hunting just because I miss the feeling of it. I always make sure that I would be home before it's dark. I don't like making him worried about me. We're both adults with a lot of things to work on, him with his seizures and me with my waking nightmares. Peeta and I work hard to make things work. Sometimes his seizures could break us both, sometimes my nightmares leave us even more damaged. But in between, we always find our ways to each other. And even though I never admit it, I think he knows how I feel. After 2 months of sharing a bed, he grows fonder. He kisses me good night, he lets me close the window sometimes, he's getting comfortable leaving his prosthetic leg off in front of me. I'm never a chit chat person, Peeta is the one who could make any conversation going, but with him I can easily tell how my day went. In a short span of time, I fell in love.

Or have I already? I have no idea.

That day on our fourth month of living in the same house, he said he's going to be late. He's doing a giant cake because the President is coming for The First Anniversary of Panem. I visited him for lunch, bringing him some soup and buns he had made a day earlier. He looked tired, but he smiles when he saw me walking through the door. Before I head back home, he hugged me a little longer than usual. I remember holding him longer, tighter. It was a long week and I only see him before he goes to work and when he got home. It is only expected I would miss him badly.

When he came home that night, he slips in so quietly. He thought I was asleep. He gently kissed my forehead. It suddenly stroke me, that I could not do it without him. I cannot handle a tomorrow without this guy. In the dim of moonlight and warm spring air, I watched him closing the window. Which is weird because he prefers to sleep with the window opens. After that he took off his prosthetic, got in the bed. I can felt him looking at me. This memory is as clear as day.

He whispered, "You love me, real or not real?"

He kissed my forehead again, finally closing his eyes. I shifted a little so I could face him.

"Real," I answered.

He was surprised. I do recall he accused me of cheating because I acted like I was asleep, but I could tell he was, or still is very happy about that night.

It's been exactly a year since I moved in. Many things have happened, good and bad. Haymitch has begun raising his first geese, trying to stay sober. My mother visited me twice, she and Annie are having a good life at Four. Peeta is having less seizure and my nightmares, although they have no intention of going away, is now less frequent.

In the last two years a lot of things happened. I lost my sister. I lost my best friend. My mother is miles away from me. But I survive, not only that, I thrive. It was not something I saw coming when I first got home, but it's happening anyway. I grow. Damaged, but still growing.

 **A/N : This is my first one shot :) I had a moment of epiphany while I re-read Mockingjay so here it is! Let me know what you think of it. Also this could be a start of my version of Mockingjay Epilogue, I thought I should inform you. Love you and thank you for reading!**


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